Parenting as Micro-leading & Raising Micro-leaders
Parenting is so much more than it might seem at first glance.
We parents (I have four nuggets, shown with me in the blog photo) are micro-leaders developing micro-leaders.
What does that mean? (No pressure, right?)
As parents, while parenting, our scale is small, generally between 1 and 12 kids, although I’d guess most of us are in the 1 to 5 range. In our jobs as managers, service members, authors, teachers, social workers, brake & muffler repairmen, and so on, our scale is different. This kid-scale is micro, but no less valuable because of the size.
As parents, we’re navigating moment to moment. Moments are micro compared with 5-year and 10-year plans in government, the education system, corporations, restaurants, and libraries. And the moments are no less valuable because of it. Any parent knows as a child blossoms and is invited to explore their own interests, any 5-year plan we have might for them quickly becomes obsolete.
And, we don’t actually know the scale of impact our parenting will have. What if we raise our kids in such a way they are allowed to discover an interest that sparks an invention or modality which changes the course of history? What if we parent in such a way they feel seen and loved regardless of *how* they are, and in turn they treat their friends like that, sending ripples of recognition far and wide?
And, we don’t actually know which moments impact our kids the most, which moments invite them to live their best lives, providing opportunities for them to discover the challenges which stimulate them best, drawing their individual sparks more fully forth, and invoking in them the feeling of being truly loved for who they are.
Great. All that speaks to the “micro” bit – what about the “leader” bit?
As parents, we’re leading our children through life (even as much as society might try to tell us we’re just rolling out dough and pressing in cookie cutters). My take on leading is dynamic and fluid. Children have an incredible amount of wisdom, playfulness, integrity, and capacity, *and* they are young, relatively inexperienced humans. Sometimes we know where they need guidance and/or assistance. Sometimes leading is actually leading by following – with sensitivity and responsiveness, sensing when to step into a more active role, responding by fluidly moving between providing enabling constraints and being in wondrous spaciousness with them.
Leading doesn’t mean having all the answers; part of leading is showing up and taking the step we think is best given what we have in the moment. We’re always learning; demonstrating this to our children is vital to supporting and cultivating their innate love of learning. Leading with humble confidence, we can be uncertain in the broader sense while acting with sureness in the moment. We reflect, we learn, we course correct, and we continue.
And developing micro-leaders? If that seems like too big a thought, consider who you want to lead your child when they’re an adult. I personally want my children to lead themselves, first and foremost, in integrity, aligned with their values (knowing what their values are!), before they “follow” anyone else. I believe it’s our role as parents to cultivate that capacity and those skills in our children – and I believe, whatever our origins, whatever our life experiences and circumstances (and probably even *because of those things*), we each have the capacity to foster leadership in our children.
To be continued…
(do reach out if you want to work with me concerning parenting)
